sohappyicouldcry was a concept i came up with at a pivotal point in my life. i was a miserable freshman in college, an artist stuck in premed. i had just got dumped, my friends went their separate ways, and i was alone.

    i embarked on a journey of personal growth.

 trying to better my mindset, and learn to cope with and manage my preexisting mental health issues. to learn to be happy with the life i had, and spread happiness love and positivity to everyone i came in contact with. for the first time in a long time i felt happy. i was happy with who i was and happy to be alone with myself.

   behind this newfound happiness, there was still a void of sadness that couldn’t be filled. i would cry daily on the hour drive to my 8am classes. i wouldnt leave my room for days. i wouldn’t shave, shower, or eat. i was a shell of a person but “happy”. i knew i was taking the wrong path in life, and this inner conflict was causing me to implode into this existential dread. this translated into new avenues of artistic expression.

   i would draw during every lecture on a regular basis, it was the only thing that kept me sane. there was one morning i drew this face, it had the stupidest smile and the saddest eyes. i remember staring at the face until i realized it was a reflection of my own looking back at me. sohappyicouldcry. i quickly wrote it down next to the face as the lecture ended and went about my day. i couldn’t get it out of my head. sohappyicouldcry. i AM sohappyicouldcry.

   i had the idea to turn this art piece into more than just a “piece”, i wanted this new phrase to be my mantra. i wanted to find a way to incorporate my preexisting pieces with this new era i was ushering in. i had the idea to turn some of my original art into clothing designs, brandishing the name.

   i had started brands before but never one i was passionate enough about to continue with. i had worked with brands before, giving away my ideas and designs just to be nice. i realized all of this half energy i was giving and receiving had been draining mentally and artistically. this is why i needed to push myself to make this dream of mine a reality.

   i want this to be more than a brand. i want a community. i dont want ordinary clothing releases. i want original paintings, drawings, sketches, prints, sculptures, music, films, etc... i don’t want to be defined as just one thing. i just am.

when i say it, believe me.

i am

sohappyicouldcry.